This girl is more easily done than said...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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