Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
