How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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