in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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