I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
