I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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