I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I want to have your abortion
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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