His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
