God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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