This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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