well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize