The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
