she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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