I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
