if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
