you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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