Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
