I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
