are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
