I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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