He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so let's talk penis.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
