I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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