She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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