anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
