Only a mothe r could love this liver
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
