everyone is single if you try hard enough
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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