What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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