u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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