She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
