Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
