so that wasnt chicken after all
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
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