he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
