I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize