You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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