wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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