that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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