Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
