Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
