I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
