i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
