Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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