Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
