I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
