P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
