He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize