he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
ttyl tear gas
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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