So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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