"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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