you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
