Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
