chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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