I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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