Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
