His hands were made for my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
