I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
