I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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