i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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