Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
