im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
