New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
