so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
