My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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