fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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